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PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:54 am 
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Spends Too Much Time Under The Hood
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Joined: Mon Jan 27, 2003 11:31 am
Posts: 245
Location: Durham,N.C.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps
with everybody at the party except you.

Q. What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling

Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.

Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.

Q. When is a pixie not a pixie?
A. When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.'

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie," only you do it yourself.

Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving

Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A. No one to talk to during orgasm.

Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever.

Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A. A mechanic!

Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen
donuts.

Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!

Q. Jewish dilemma:
A. Free PORK.

Q. What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther
King Day?
A. On St. Patrick's Day, everybody wishes they were Irish.

Q. How can you tell which is the head nurse?
A. The one with the dirty knees.

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.

Q. How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.

Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who
has the biggest tits?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.

Q. Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A. Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapour-lock.

Q. The three words most hated by men during sex?
A. "Are you In?" or "Is It In?"

Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sex?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.

Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

Q. How can you tell a macho women?
A. She rolls her own tampons.

_________________
94 Mirage Project underway...


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 2:22 am 
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Spends Too Much Time Under The Hood
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Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2004 10:18 am
Posts: 274
Location: DFW, Tejas
Q: Why do jews have big noses?
A: Becouse air is free


Q: What are the 3 ways the pull-out method of birth control works?

A: When you pull out of her a$$, Her mouth or the driveway.

I have more but it gets bad.....


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 2:46 am 
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Some call me a god
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2004 4:08 am
Posts: 1263
Location: Hayward, CA
Q : What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A : Genius

Q : What is the difference between a blonde and a man?
A : The blonde has a higher sperm count.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:24 am 
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Spends Too Much Time Under The Hood
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Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2004 9:05 pm
Posts: 307
Location: Port Orchard, WA
Four nuns get in a car accident, and they arive at the pearly gates. St. Peter is there, and asks the women to confess any sins they have not so that they may enter heaven. The first says "I once touched a man's penis with the tip of my finger." Peter says, "dip you finger in holy water and enter my child.". The second say, "I once touched a man's penis with my whole hand." Peter says, "Dip your hand in holy water and enter my child." The third nun starts walking up to Peter and is pushed aside by the fourth and says, "There is NO WAY I am gargling that holy water after she dips her a$$ in it"



Q: What did the mexican say when the house fell on him??

A: Get off me homes.

_________________
1989 Mirage Turbo 4g63T w/ small 16g just bolted in so far.
LSD, 1g flywheel/clutch.
1989 Colt GT 4g61T (63T build in progress)
1g ECU, Injectors, Exhaust manifold, 16g evo III Turbo, SMIC, and C Exhaust cam -9*
K&N Air filter, airbox cut up, MSD plug wires, NGKs, Apexi S-AFC II, MAF translator, tubular o2 housing w/ dump tube, Full 3" mandral.

Now I ran out of fuel!!


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:34 pm 
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4g61t Delinquent
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Joined: Wed Dec 25, 2002 7:44 pm
Posts: 1740
Location: Hesperia, CA(In the Mojave desert)
Q: whats the difference between a pizza and a jew?

A: pizza doesnt scream in the oven! :o


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:54 pm 
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Now Drives a hybrid :(
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Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2003 10:47 pm
Posts: 3218
Location: Phoenix, AZ
i do not enjoy alot of these racist and anti semitic jokes.i think this board needs only to offend a-holes, not groups of people, religions, faiths, or peoples having lack-there-of.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 1:26 am 
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Spends Too Much Time Under The Hood
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Joined: Thu May 02, 2002 10:48 pm
Posts: 294
Location: Denver, CO
Quote:
i do not enjoy alot of these racist and anti semitic jokes.i think this board needs only to offend a-holes, not groups of people, religions, faiths, or peoples having lack-there-of.
Boy, that wasn't funny at all...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 1:39 am 
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4g61t Delinquent
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Joined: Wed Dec 25, 2002 7:44 pm
Posts: 1740
Location: Hesperia, CA(In the Mojave desert)
Quote:
Quote:
i do not enjoy alot of these racist and anti semitic jokes.i think this board needs only to offend a-holes, not groups of people, religions, faiths, or peoples having lack-there-of.
Boy, that wasn't funny at all...
:lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 2:03 am 
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Some call me a god

Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2002 9:28 pm
Posts: 1665
Location: mississauga, Ontario
Q. Theres a black and spanish car sitting in a car, who's driving?

A. The Cop
:lol:

Q. Why did hitler commit suicide?

A. He saw his gas bill.

You know...i'm polish...i shouldn't be making hitler jokes.

_________________
92' Dodge Colt 200GT - 4G63T - Taking Offers.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 6:52 am 
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Spends Too Much Time Under The Hood
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Joined: Mon Jan 27, 2003 11:31 am
Posts: 245
Location: Durham,N.C.
i bet southpark really makes your stomach turn. :)

_________________
94 Mirage Project underway...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 10:53 am 
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Spends Too Much Time Under The Hood
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Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2004 9:05 pm
Posts: 307
Location: Port Orchard, WA
Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?

A: Canoes tip.

----

A couple from Kentuky just had got married, and they arive at the hotel to start out their honeymoon. The wife says to her husband, "There is something I've got to tell you". He asks, "what is it?". She admits, "I'm a virgin". He packs up his stuff jumps in the car, and goes home. He tells his father what happened, and his father says, "Son, you did the right thing, if Mary-Sue ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours"

_________________
1989 Mirage Turbo 4g63T w/ small 16g just bolted in so far.
LSD, 1g flywheel/clutch.
1989 Colt GT 4g61T (63T build in progress)
1g ECU, Injectors, Exhaust manifold, 16g evo III Turbo, SMIC, and C Exhaust cam -9*
K&N Air filter, airbox cut up, MSD plug wires, NGKs, Apexi S-AFC II, MAF translator, tubular o2 housing w/ dump tube, Full 3" mandral.

Now I ran out of fuel!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 11:41 pm 
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CSM Expert
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Joined: Mon May 27, 2002 10:28 pm
Posts: 1205
Location: Palatine, IL
A baby duck and a baby skunk are all alone without their parents for the first time. The duck says, "Y'know, I don't know what I am." The skunk thinks for a minute, looks at the duck and says, "Well, you have a bill, webbed feet, and are covered in down. You must be a Duck. But then, what am I?"

The duck looks the skunk up and down, and replies, "Let's see... you're half black, half white, and stink like $hit...

"You must be a Puerto Rican."

(BTW, I heard that one from a 'Rican! :o )

---

Q: How do you know the guy who stole you bike is half black and half Polish?
A: He's running down the street carrying it under one arm.

---

Q: Why doesn't Cuba have an Olympic swimming team?
A: All the members already made it to Florida.

---

For what it's worth, I make fun of everyone and everything. I mean no malice by this.

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Witty Signature Goes Here!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2004 1:34 pm 
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1595 cc's of fury

Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2003 3:15 pm
Posts: 1616
Location: Rastle Cock, CO
I agree here, I think people who are offended just need to grow up and learn to accept it. I make fun of everyone equally :D .

_________________
Turning a 4g61t into 1595 cc's of FURY!
10.995 @ 134.44 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZXvcvzuWGQ

SOLD to the fastest shifting hermaphrodite in CO


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 3:11 pm 
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Newbie

Joined: Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:18 pm
Posts: 20
Location: Denton, Tx
A teach ask her students
"if there are 4 birds sitting on a fence and someone shoots one how many are left"

A smal hand goes up and the little boy answers "none. when the gun is shot the other birds get scared and fly away."

The teacher says, "i'm sorry the answer is 3 but i like the way you think."

Schocked the boy proceeds to ask the teacher, "i have a question for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench outside of an ice cream shop eating ice cream. The first one is licking the side and nibbling on the top. the second bites off the top. and the third is gobbling the ice cream and sucking on the cone. which one is married?"

Blushing the teacher replies, "i guess the one gobbling the ice cream and sucking on the cone."

The student says, "actually its the one wearing the wedding ring, but i like the way you think."

_________________
After I get done beating v8's, I like to play a little game called count the spark plug wires.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2004 10:48 am 
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CSM Expert
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Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:10 am
Posts: 2686
Location: Germany
This one is great! :lol:

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Got rabies?


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