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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 12:16 am 
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CSM Junkie
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2003 2:07 am
Posts: 614
Location: Murray, UT
a cowboy from wyoming and a cowboy from califorina were driving in wyoming and spot a goat with it's head stuck in a fence, the wyoming cowboy get's out of the truck and does his thing. he walkes back to the truck and askes the cowboy from cali," don't you want some of this?". "yeah", says the cowboy from cali, and get's out of the truck and sticks his head in the fence.

_________________
1983 Honda VF750F
1986 Chevrolet C-10 305
1990 Eagle Summit ES 4g63na 5spd
1990 Chevrolet Corvette L98
1996 GMC Suburban 454
1999 Volvo S70 AWD L.P.T


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 12:42 am 
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4g61t Delinquent
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Joined: Wed Dec 25, 2002 7:44 pm
Posts: 1740
Location: Hesperia, CA(In the Mojave desert)
i always knew california cowboys were gay! :lol:


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 12:43 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2002 9:00 am
Posts: 2379
Location: Chantilly, VA
hahaha, the ice cream one was great!!! and so was the cowboy one :lol:


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 1:47 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2003 2:07 am
Posts: 614
Location: Murray, UT
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.
Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with
just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"

George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George










Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there
for a number of years when he came home one day to confess
to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an
urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife
suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about
it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He
vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few
weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife
could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I
told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis
into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I
did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No,
Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."

_________________
1983 Honda VF750F
1986 Chevrolet C-10 305
1990 Eagle Summit ES 4g63na 5spd
1990 Chevrolet Corvette L98
1996 GMC Suburban 454
1999 Volvo S70 AWD L.P.T


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 12:09 pm 
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CSM Junkie
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Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2003 1:02 am
Posts: 593
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
A mother and her son were flying TWA from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" He said that she had. So she said, "Tell your mother that TWA always pulls out on time."

--------------------------------------------

A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi a few months ago. So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favourite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park. Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees sucking his best friend's penis. After a few seconds, he blows his load in her mouth and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce."

-------------------------------------------

One day at the end of class little Chris's teacher has the class go home and think of story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand: "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Next is little Mary ... "well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched" ... teacher asks for the moral of the story... Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" Last is little Chris ... "My Uncle Ed fought in the Vietnam war, his plane was shot down over enemy territory - he jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." Teacher looks in shock at Chris and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story... Chris replies, "Don't fruit and banana with my Uncle."

_________________
01 Maxima VQ30DE
92 Summit 4g63t (Traded to Evo... R.I.P.)
Quote:
I heard they ride mooses to work instead of driving cars. (About Canadians.)


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 12:20 pm 
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Some call me a god

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2004 9:36 pm
Posts: 1031
Location: Fburg, VA
Two gay guys are having sex in the shower when all of sudden the doorbell rings. The guy banging the other says,"Don't you cum until I get back". So he goes and answers the door, and comes back to find that there is jizz all over the walls, all over the ceiling, on the shower curtain. So he asks,"I thought I told you not to cum?!?!?", and the other guy replies, "I didn't cum, I farted".

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1989 Dodge Colt Turbo w/ 4g63t swap
1999 Ford Contour SVT


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